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Julie and Ilona have had a passionate one night stand but in the cold light of day Ilona has to face up to the consequences of her actions, the first of which is the relationship to her fiancé, Nick. However no sooner has she resolved that one than Ilona begins to question her sexual orientation as she recalls incidents from her past. When she is reunited with her closest girlfriend from school she begins to realise that her preferences for women go back further than she thought.
Jodie’s brown legs stretched slightly as she tossed the netball into the basket and Ilona felt a slight warmth in her belly as her teammate turned and raised her arms in the air. Her breasts rose against the tight tee shirt bearing the team logo, the Magpies rested against her left breast, her black hair was tied up in a ponytail. One of their teammates gave her a high five now that they were one goal ahead and with three minutes to go Ilona knew the game was in the bag and that prediction came true when Jodie scored another goal with just a minute to go.
Watching Jodie in the shower some ten minutes later filled Ilona with both pride and something else, a flickering surge of lust mingled with jealousy. Jodie’s first timid attempt at attracting a woman had been maddeningly slow. Their friendship stretched back to their last year of high school when a shy English girl had turned up in Ilona’s class to do her Year Twelve.
Her accent set her apart instantly and then there was a distinct faux pas when she casually admitted that she was gay. That admission earned her a session with the school counsellor and her mother to explain that her sexual preferences were not acceptable at this school. Admittedly her mother had been somewhat bemused, Jodie’s mother, Margaret was a lawyer who had enrolled her daughter in a private school because she liked the curriculum and her assertiveness turned the tables in a most dramatic fashion when she threatened to sue the school. Faced with a woman who wasn’t afraid to take on the establishment they backed down, Jodie could stay but she couldn’t advertise her sexual preferences.
Nevertheless, it was a Pyrrhic victory because the word had already been passed around the school and it gained certain embellishments, so that Jodie became a teenage bunny boiler until Ilona had stepped in, physically as it turned out when a girl pushed Jodie over. Ilona had grabbed the girl’s ponytail and yanked her backwards, and after that Jodie had been invited into Ilona’s circle of friends. Jodie had become one of her best friends and she’d set on her own mission to find a girl for her gay girlfriend.
Pickings were slim though and the mission was cancelled after Jodie begged her to just be her friend and that friendship had become even stronger after they both graduated. Ilona had lost count of their sleepovers and yet despite their closeness, neither of them had made a move on the other. Ilona came to value these sleepovers because she could put some distance between herself and the guys who pursued her with relentless tenacity. Whenever she needed time out she went to Jodie’s house. They’d even joined the same netball team not long after enrolling at a Tafe college and it was at a game where Ilona met Frankie, an overtly gay woman who was initially drawn to Ilona but when she realised that she was with a guy she switched to Jodie.
It had taken her a while to get to first base, Jodie was very much Ilona’s best friend and Frankie didn’t play nicely with other girls. Eventually though she had gone on a single date with Frankie and Ilona had retreated to the sidelines to give them space but over the next few months though Ilona came to regret her decision to sit it out. Frankie was the kind of girl who needed to dominate everyone, even her own friends thought her high maintenance because Frankie didn’t play nicely with other girls.
Frankie became not just Jodie’s girlfriend, but also her best friend, supplanting Ilona and eventually she acknowledged it. Jodie was skittish and nervous whenever she was alone with Ilona and was always replying to texts and phone calls from Frankie, to the point that Ilona felt like a third wheel and whilst they’d never fallen out, Jodie had always felt as if she was on the outside looking in. To her credit though, Jodie had resisted Frankie’s demands to ditch her old straight friends and move into her circle of friends, and that in itself was a testament to Ilona’s influence on the shy English girl she’d befriended.
Ilona’s eyes opened as a wet nose pressed against her face and for a few seconds she couldn’t place the source as she fought to remain in the dream and then she recalled the lovemaking last night that had gone on until nearly ten, with a few breaks in between sessions. She felt a little tired but it was a pleasant, lazy kind of tiredness that made you want to stay in bed longer. A wet tongue licked her cheek and she reached up to slide her fingers through the dog’s thick coat.
“Max,” she murmured and rolled her head to bahis firmaları one side. She’d fallen asleep beside Julie last night but Julie was not in bed and then she heard muffled voices from the living room and propped on her elbows to listen because one voice sounded male in origin. The door opened some thirty seconds later and she heard Julie call out as she entered.
“Second door on the right, the bathroom is next door to it,” she closed the door behind her and Ilona sat up, the duvet fell off her naked breasts and Julie knelt on the bed. She was wearing a white silk dressing gown and she had a look of concern on her face.
“Darren’s here, apparently Nick’s mother has been trying to call for the last hour but your mobile is still off, it’s on the coffee table where you left it.”
“An hour?” Ilona stared at the clock on the wall, “it’s only eight thirty. She doesn’t know this address does she?”
“No, she rang your mum and she rang Darren because he’d been here yesterday. She was on the verge of ringing every hospital in the eastern suburbs in case you had an accident but your mum said she thought you were at a colleague’s place.”
“I was going to ring her this morning and cancel today. She had the weekend all set up for these wedding preparations,” she stared straight ahead.
“Where’s Darren now?”
“Having a piss,” she stared at the entrance to her walk in wardrobe, “I’ve got a spare robe in there if you want to duck upstairs and get changed.”
“I knew I was going to have to at least put her off today,” Ilona fell back against the pillow, “we do need to talk about last night but it looks like I’ll have to do something today.”
“I think that goes without saying,” she nodded at the wardrobe, “grab a robe from in there.”
Ilona nodded and slid out of bed. The sudden appearance of Darren had heightened the sense of danger and that was both exciting and worrisome because this was not the first time she’d used a casual fuck to get out of a relationship that was dragging her down. Harry had been the most recent example but there had been two others prior to him, albeit not so serious because she’d not been tied so closely to them. They’d been short affairs, three weeks and ten days, respectively and when they parted there was not the same sense of finality because there was no commitment.
Darren looked up from his position on the couch when Ilona walked into the room five minutes later and brother and sister greeted each other with a sly smile.
“Did you shit the bed this morning?” Ilona smirked as she sat on the couch and leaned over to pick up her phone, “I was going to call the dragon lady sometime after nine.”
“So, what happened last night?” Darren stared at the engagement ring on the table.
“Something happened,” she followed his line of sight, “I realised the ring was too heavy.”
“I could’ve told you that months ago.”
“But you didn’t,” she turned the phone on, “and even if you had I wouldn’t have listened but I’ve had time to think since I started seeing Julie and last night things got,” their eyes met.
“Hot and sweaty?” Darren raised an eyebrow and then sank back and stared at the ceiling, “well this might set a fox amongst the pigeons and here was me putting off buying a new suit.”
“Why a new suit?” Ilona glanced up as she waited for the icons to populate the screen, “you didn’t even buy a new suit for the last wedding.”
“That’s because I hadn’t put on weight,” he patted his belly, “but fuck the suit anyway. What’re you going to do? Call it off? Or put it down to a last fling before the handcuffs come on?”
“The last time I had a fling I wound up engaged,” she pulled a face, “no, this is different,” her eyes shifted to the phone as the messages started coming in.
“Fuck me,” she tapped the screen and started scrolling through her messages. A couple were from her future mother in law, two were from Nick, one was from Darren, one was a message from her mother and the other six were from girlfriends, including one from Jodie but there were also three missed calls from Nick’s mother, “last time I’m turning my phone off.”
She read the one from Jodie and a lump came to her throat.
“Well that’s a funny coincidence,” she glanced up, “Jodie’s walked out on Frankie.”
“You’re kidding me,” Darren shifted in his seat, “where’s she gone?”
“Back to her mum’s joint,” her eyes narrowed as she caught the look in his eyes, “Darren, she’s gay and you’re with someone.”
“Sorry, just my twisted little mind.”
“So long as it stays between your ears I don’t suppose any harm can come of it.”
Darren didn’t reply as she tapped the missed call from her mother.
“Mum, hi,” she leaned back into the couch, “sorry, the phone was switched off last night.”
“That’s not like you,” her mother replied, “what’s wrong?”
“Everything, mum,” she wiped her eyes, “everything’s turned to shit. This fucking wedding is fucking with my head, I can’t do this anymore. I turned kaçak iddaa it off after that fucking mother in law of mine decided to call me at night,” she rose and walked to the window.
“Do you want me to come around?”
“No,” she pinched nose, “I’ll come to you, there’s something else I have to tell you, and dad.”
“We’ll be here, dad was going out to play golf but you know him. With his handicap any excuse is a good one to cancel a game.”
“Give me an hour or so to get ready, I’ve just gotten out of bed.”
She ended the call and stared at the door leading to the bedroom.
“How long can you stay?”
“As long as you need me,” Darren shrugged, “I’m just chillin’ today.”
“You might not be chilling much today,” she tapped her phone and scrolled down to the message from Nick’s mother, “it’s now or never.”
Nick’s mother answered on the second ring.
“Ilona, I was just about to call again. Where are you? I can come and collect you.”
“No,” she cut in, “I’m not in a fit state, I’ve had a few drinks last night and I’ve got a hangover, I’ve been throwing up,” she turned away from Darren as he grinned.
“Throwing up? Are you sure it’s not something else?”
“No, it’s all self inflicted. Listen, I have to cancel today but I’ll call you later, okay?”
“All right, sweetie but I’m only a phone call away.”
She farewelled her and turned around to face Darren.
“Hangover? Throwing up?” Darren raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, it’ll put her off for a few hours. What’re you doing this morning?”
“Sitting on my arse right now, why?”
“We need to move my shit out of there this morning?”
“All of it?” Darren’s eyes shifted.
“Nope, leave the furniture for now, just my clothes, toiletries and a few other little things.”
“So you want my ute then. Where’s this stuff going?”
“Back here,” she replied, “but first let me go and see Julie,” she nodded at the kitchen, “I’ll make you a coffee in a minute.”
Julie was sitting on the bed with Max, running her hand through his coat. Ilona closed the door and knelt on the end of the bed. Both women looked at each other and Julie sighed.
“Nothing like the morning after talk.”
“It’s not your fault,” she replied, “I took the fucking ring off, I kissed you and opened the door but now I’ve got to deal with this fallout.”
“So, what’s your plan?”
“Right now it’s a fly by the seat of your pants plan,” she traced a pattern on the duvet cover, “I’m gonna grab a quick shower and go back home with Darren to grab the shit I need to take with me, it’s just clothes and the basics but I need to put these bags somewhere.”
“So, put them upstairs for now,” Julie replied, “regardless of what happens next.”
Ilona’s eyes shifted as she glanced at Max.
“We will have the talk but I’ll probably stay the night at my parents’ joint, and I’m going to call in a favour at work and take a few days off. I’ve accrued about five days of extra time over the last two years and one of the people from HR wanted me to cut it down to at least two.”
“So, where will you be staying? Here or your parents’ place?”
“That’s what I have to see them about,” she frowned, “it’s a long drive from Coldstream, but I don’t think we’re at the point where I can move in but that doesn’t mean I’m using this place to store my stuff. I’m not like that. We will talk but right now I need to do something I should have done before he put that ring on my finger. I’ve been sleepwalking into a marriage I didn’t really want and I sure as hell am not going to sleepwalk into something else,” she eyed her.
“Absolutely,” Julie looked past her, “we’ve both got baggage.”
“Ain’t that the truth, I was fighting the urges all last week and I thought I was doing pretty good until yesterday,” she stared at the wardrobe door as she collected her thoughts and then looked down as Julie rubbed her leg.
“It’s going to work out, one way or another.”
“That’s the plan,” she traced her way up Julie’s leg, “so, would this be the first time a straight woman seduced you?”
“It isn’t the first time I’ve been with a straight woman but it is the first time it’s happened under such dramatic circumstances. They were always single and curious but this puts a new spin on it,” she glanced up at the ceiling. “There’s a lot to process from my side too,” she finished.
“I know,” Ilona slid forward to straddle her, “but last night was amazing,” she slid her hands under Julie’s robe to cradle her breasts, “we’ll talk soon, I promise.”
She leaned forward to kiss her and Julie opened her mouth and let the moment carry her for as long as possible and then Ilona was easing off her.
“When are you leaving?”
“Less than an hour,” she replied, “I need a shower and Darren needs a coffee.”
“I’ll get the coffee, you grab a shower.”
Julie stared at the ceiling when Ilona had left the room, a frown creased her brow as the germ of an idea began to build.
Ilona kaçak bahis stood under the shower head and let the water cascade over her as the dream returned. She and Jodie had played netball together for nearly eighteen months before Frankie poached the Magpies’ star player for her team. It hadn’t been the same after that and when she did see Jodie she was always on the other team and it was not long afterwards that she’d quit netball to focus more on her studies. She and Jodie had however remained friends, but over the last year or so their interactions had been online or via texts.
However her memory had returned last night, after a night of lovemaking that had surpassed her expectations. Was that why she had remembered her or was there something else, an urge she’d suppressed at school? She squeezed shampoo into her hands and began massaging her scalp as she analysed her own teenage urges. She’d always gravitated towards girls for emotional needs but guys had been something else. Guys were easy to control. You knew they were checking you out and even if you fobbed them off it wasn’t the end, they always came running if it seemed like you were changing course.
Harry, she frowned. Harry had been mister conservative, the one who talked of settling down and yet he’d had a sensitive mature side that was so different to the alpha males she’d dated in the past. Harry had taught her the finer points of lovemaking, unlike the others he could hold back until she was ready before climaxing.
Why did I really end it with Harry?
It was a loaded question considering her next relationship. Nick was different, impulsive, cheeky, adventurous and always pushing the envelope out just a little further. It was why he’d made his approach in the way he did when he walked into work with his worksheets, asking questions he must have known the answer to before asking her to elaborate on something her colleague had only touched on. Ilona had felt quite confident going into the construction of shell companies as a way of avoiding tax.
It was only some months later when he’d put that ring on her finger that she’d realised he must have staked the place out for two days when he commented on the fact that her colleague always took his lunch at that time. She’d laughed it off at the time and even thought it somewhat romantic and yet it showed a hidden side to Nick, his methodical nature hidden beneath the larrikin behaviour. In that way he was very much cut from the same cloth as his father, a conniving businessman who dabbled in several different companies.
Ilona returned to the memory of Jodie as she pulled the denim shirt over her shoulders and buttoned it. What would have happened if she’d taken it further? Ilona tucked it into her jeans and stared at herself in the mirror, she was wearing a white tee shirt under the shirt and she undid a couple of buttons for a more casual look. There would have been no Nick for a start and probably no Harry, but would it have worked?
I must phone her again, Ilona rolled up her sleeves.
Now that Frankie’s out of the way it’s time to get back to normal.
Ilona stared at the wardrobe in the bedroom as she put the last bag on the bed. It had been full an hour ago and now it was only a quarter full. She glanced around the room that had been their bedroom. Drawers had been partially emptied of her things, which had also been put into a black garbage bag. She moved to the window and stared out over the tree tops. Their house was situated near the top of the hill and overlooked Swansea Road and although the road was only partly visible beneath the trees lining it she could see the roof of the wedding reception venue on the other side of the road. Set some way back on a road leading off the main road it had caught her imagination due to its rural like setting despite its urban location.
A lump came to her throat as she thought of the phone call she had to make. Nick could be a pain in the arse but he wasn’t violent and in fact he’d gone out of his way to keep her on side, except when it came to his mother.
So, what do I tell him?
Movement at the bedroom door caused her to turn around and her eyes widened as her mother stepped into the room. She glanced at the bags on the bed but she’d already seen the bags loaded onto the back of Darren’s ute. At sixty six years of age, Charmaine Clinton was now a newly retired barrister. Ilona had inherited her blonde hair and something of her features, the hair was still blonde thanks to regular trips to the salon. Charmaine was nothing if not conscious of her appearance, another trait her youngest daughter had inherited.
“Dad’s outside with Darren,” she knelt on the bed and rested her hands on her legs.
Ilona opened her mouth to say something but then shut it again and swallowed as she tried to find the right words and eventually she blurted out the words, “I think I’m gay.”
“Gay,” Charmaine’s blue-grey eyes didn’t even flicker, “well that explains something.”
“Your inability to stay settled with a guy, you always seem to find a way to wriggle out of it, but this time you have,” she stared at her hand, “had a ring on your finger,” she patted the bed.
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