Dirty Little Secret

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Looking back on the whole affair, several hundred miles away, with rose-tinted glasses…it could have been so much worse for everyone. Really. I should be thankful she never said a word. She really didn’t have to the last time we met, though. Looking back on it, it’s a lot like a hideous car wreck. You see it coming, but you wonder what’s going to happen even though you know it’s going to be bloody and painful and probably kill you. Looking back, I was selfish, wrong, flawed, and stupid. But honestly? There are some parts I’d never change for the world.

My mother had seven kids. Seven. I have six brothers, all different from me, but still very much the same. I’m the second-oldest, so it was always my duty to look after the younger ones when Sarafin wasn’t around (i.e. pretty often). I did an alright job of looking after them, I think, but myself? Not so much. I really don’t remember my earliest years in America. I’ve been a citizen for ages, so don’t bitch to me about immigration laws and that stuff. I was born an entrepreneur and after trials, tribulations, The Uncle fronted me the money to open our little chain. I love it so much, it’s like my own child.

Not that I’ve ever had any others.

But I digress.

So here I am, managing my own place and doing alright. I meet a pretty white lady and marry her and her extensive family. She loves me even though I’m defective and daft, and things are alright. Her kids are so great and I love every one of them. For a while, at least. I’m pretty happy. Well, sort of. The root and sum of this whole snafu started there. Marriage is inevitable, and I thought maybe this could be The One, and there’d be my next fifty years. She wasn’t perfect, and I’m not either. But it’s verbatim to the Rule of Dance:

“Women who love to dance always marry men who hate to dance.”

Only in my case, it would be…

“Men who love to screw always marry women who have migraines.”

So my wife has a headache. A constant headache, which I constantly told her to get a physician to look at. She gave me the Pissy Look and I left it alone. This goes on for entirely too long, and since home isn’t as happy as it could be, I throw myself at work.

And work kinda threw itself at me.

Customers are nice and the staff gets along well. I love every one of the guys, they put their all into what they do. That’s why they got the job. Then, one day, I took the time to talk extensively with one of the more frequent and faithful patrons: Officer Arion. He’s incredibly nice and is automatically respectable (for me, at least) for being in law enforcement. He was sitting with another man and a girl. The other man was a businessman, but more of the suit-and-tie type. He never struck me as one who actually got his hands dirty. When I saw how he treated the girl, I knew what kind of man he was, and I didn’t really care for him. But her?

Wow.

She looked older than her eighteen years, had long dark hair, and expressive green eyes. Gorgeous girl that was built like a goddess. Seemingly proportioned perfect to her diminutive size. Which wasn’t so bad. When one is tall all their life, things like size are a little biased and everyone is smaller than you are.

I had to know more.

She was staring me down the whole time, sizing me up. Judging. But shyly, she didn’t want me to notice it. Then again, I can understand her shyness and always have. I always respected that, even when it was inconvenient and downright dangerous. She looked about decided, so I introduced myself to her with a compliment, trying to at least make her smile after her father’s crass behavior.

“So what’s your name, bonita?”

She looked like she probably spoke that language, I saw how she watched people’s mouths move and hers did too, like she was trying to interpret for someone else.

She stuttered out her name and blushed profusely, not wanting to look at my eyes.

That was alright, I had time.

She was a constant presence in the place. Always flitting about, talking casino oyna to others, and avoiding me. She really took to that somehow. One night when she was just there with Sarge, I pulled her aside just to inquire to the nature of the problem.

“What’s wrong, miel? You’re so standoffish. Did I upset you the other night?”

She shook her head and attempted to speak, but stuttering, backwards words came out. It was kinda cute. I saw it was definitely going to be me dominating the conversation.

“What’s wrong?”

She looked pensive and stared at the wall behind me, deathly trying to avoid my eyes.

“Please tell me if I upset you, but I have a question.”

…no response, just big, wide eyes set in crimson cheeks.

“Do you like me, bonita?”

Her lip trembled and she nodded.

“Like how much? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

She looked puzzled and held up both hands.

Both…what the hell?

Ten? That makes sense, I think.

“Are you afraid of me?”

She made the so-so sign.

“What can I do to make you not-upset?”

Shrug.

“You can say anything, you know.”

Silence. She looked like she was about to fall down.

“…Do you…” I suddenly had an insane impulse. Show her what you mean, stupid, my brain said. Do something, act, show her how you feel.

So I did.

“You can make me stop whenever you want, but…” I started.

I didn’t really think before I acted, to say the least. I stooped down a-ways and had my lips against hers. It was just going to be that, I promised myself.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU INSANE HUMAN BEING?! said the other side of my brain.

I got more than a little carried away, I was crushed against her and biting her lip before I could tear myself away.

Cue a look of utter shock on her face as I pull away.

“Are you alright?”

Nod.

“Are you offended?”

Shake.

“Do you want me to stop? Be honest.”

…thought.

…blink-blink.

…tremble.

Shake.

It was my turn to be taken aback, she kissed me back with a fervor I thought was long gone.

I should have known better than to have let it go any father than that. I should have listened to the other side of my head, hitting me with a bat and reminding me of…of…everything! But did I? No.

It went so much farther than that.

We ended up in the back room, hands all over each other and sweat pouring down from the stifling heat. No words were needed here, raw feeling would suffice. She dropped to her knees and began fidgeting with my belt.

Holy Christ, what had I gotten myself into?

When I returned to earth from my self-bashing trip, my pants were already around my ankles and she had already gotten to work. God, I was painfully aroused by then anyway. I couldn’t even remember the last time my wife rendered me such a service. She kissed me teasingly down the length of my shaft, cutting her eyes up at me. Almost daring me to object. I did nothing of the sort, but leaned into the wall behind me and gently pushed her head forward. That was all the encouragement she needed, she inhaled deeply and slid me all the way to the back of her throat. Clearly she’d done this before.

“Oh….god, you’re so good…” I wound my fingers into her smooth hair, letting the initial waves of pleasure wash over me.

She wasn’t even trying all that hard, either. All she had to do was run her tongue along the underside of my cock and I’d be trembling in the knees. She kept teasing me right to the edge and then bringing me back for what seemed like forever. Finally she deep-throat ed me one last time and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I let out a deep, throaty moan and released everything into her hot, inviting mouth. I gave it up, slumping flat into the wall and letting go of my death-grip on her hair. She looked up at me with the sweetest, yet naughtiest smirk, and wiped her bottom lip. That’s got to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I should canlı casino have done a lot of things, but letting her kiss me back was not one of them. Retrospect is always 20/20.

To be honest, I expected her to run away screaming. I figured she’d get away from me and I’d lose interest. Neither happened. She began showing up more and I was still looking. I admit, I was afraid. I’d thought about…you know…cheating before, but who hasn’t? I didn’t actually think I’d go through with it, though. But sure enough, there we were.

Amazingly, it was more than just killer head once in a while. She really did open up to me completely, and I know now that she fell in love with me. Only problem with that was that it killed our agreement early on not to get too attached. Again, there we were. I fought like hell but ended up falling for her too. It was impossible to resist, she was just so beautiful. Both as a person, and as far as looks go.

The ante was upped again in midsummer.

My shift was over and I was just about ready to hit the road. I hadn’t noticed her coming in, but it was just Sarge’s car out front. She found me in the parking lot out back. She facilitated this gigantic step, mind you. I just thought about it, but I never thought I’d end up…hell, I shouldn’t have. But she wanted it so much I couldn’t refuse her. It’s mostly a blur, but I remember what counts.

“I want this,” she breathed into my neck. “But I’m afraid, I’m a virgin…”

I stroked her hair and lied again.

“I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

What was I supposed to say? I ran my hands under her shirt, feeling nothing but heated skin and sharp little nipples.

“Are you sure you want this?” I wanted to be absolutely certain before we did things we might regret.

She knew she could tell me to stop at any time and I would. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d stop.

She was sure of it. Surer than I was, for a change. So it happened.

It tore me apart to have to hurt her, but she never backed down. I raised her skirt and slipped her flimsy panties down her legs and off, pitching them in the floorboard. I quickly fumbled myself out of my pants, leaving one hand to tease her moist slit enough to comfortably fit. I lowered myself farther down, kissing her roughly and pushing in slowly as I could. She clawed into my back to keep from crying, but she didn’t back down. Her blood dripped down with the rest of her juices, and I have to admit it turned me on a little. I slid deeper into her, finding it hard to keep control of myself. My wide girth can’t have helped the hurt much–but I knew she’d appreciate it later on. Having passed the worst part, I sped up some, feeling her walls loosen up slightly to accommodate me. It was beyond ecstasy for me; she was my first virgin and she was tighter than anything I’d ever experienced before. I felt a little horrible, since I’m certain it wasn’t as good for her. God, it had been SO long. As much as I wanted her to get something out of it, time just wasn’t on our side. That, and I didn’t last too long. Two long, celibate years can do that to you. I came entirely too fast, and sorry to leave the warmth of her tight cunt. However, I made time to clean her up and just hold her for a while. Her nerves were shattered. Before I left, she slipped a house-key in my pocket.

There were days I’d drop by and see her. Her dad left her all alone in the house, so I had to do some manly chores sometimes. Plumbing, fixing doors, changing lights…that type of thing. And of course we fucked. Often. I was thankful the pain stopped after about the third time. It still killed me to know she was hurting. The heat was unbearable in her little room, but not as unbearable as the tension between us. There were times I gave up fighting it. I dropped her on the bed and dove between her thighs, aching to feel my cock, my fingers…anything inside her. Her slit was like hot velvet and I honestly couldn’t have quit it if I’d wanted to. Nothing could beat the satisfaction of feeling her tighten around me in every sense kaçak casino of the word, and completely release. She was the first woman to let me come inside her. It didn’t bother her at all. Hell, I think she enjoyed it more than I did. We never had to worry about her getting “in trouble”. I mean, there’s a reason I never contributed any kids to my marriage.

But we started to drift apart.

I was needed increasingly more around my house, and wasn’t working nearly as often. That put an enormous strain on our relationship. For both our sakes, we couldn’t be found out. She was far beyond upset when I got transferred as well. We actually started to fight. I didn’t want to lose her, but I simply couldn’t function the way she needed me.

Something had to be done, but what?

One day I finally managed to get by her place. She wouldn’t touch me. She didn’t want me to make love to her or anything until we worked out this problem.

“I’m trying. I really am.” I was impatient, but I had no right.

“I realize I’m lower on the list, ” she said, and I thought I might have seen tears plip down her cheek.

“…but if you want to keep me around, you can’t just let me GO like this.”

Until now she’d been horribly cold. Trying her best to be bitter and aloof, but for the first time I realized she couldn’t make herself do it, no more than I could keep being angry and frustrated with her. She crawled up behind me on her bed and wrapped her arms around me, crushing her cheek into my neck.

“I’m sorry. I should be stronger than this.”

What could I say? That was true to an extent. She knew up front that she would always be second. She knew that this might happen, that I might get my hands full with the family I already had. But she was human.

A delicate little human that needed me.

It didn’t occur to me until now, but I needed her just as much.

I know it sounds terrible, me falling in love with this girl when I already have a wife and all…but it’s different. Bonita had a sort of passion, a sort of fire about her that my own wife hadn’t shown me in years. I could tell she loved me, I could read her like a large-print dictionary. When I held her, I could feel her completely swooning and off on cloud nine.

Right now was one of those times.

“We can make this work,” I meant it, too.

I turned around and gathered her into my lap. For a long while, we didn’t speak. Just felt, just enjoyed each other’s warmth and presence. I flumped back onto the bed, taking her with me.

“What are we going to do, baby?” she whimpered. She was near tears, if not already there.

“We’ll figure something out. She can go to her job and take the kids, and…and…I’ll stay here and run the place. That way, we can keep our house and the restaurant, and I can keep you.” It seemed reasonable enough.

“You don’t love me as much as you do her.”

It wasn’t really a statement to hurt me, but…I guess she was just reminding herself out loud.

I honestly don’t know if she was right or not.

I was rearranging my life for her, really.

“So are we back to good?” she spoke to my stomach.

“I think so. I don’t know, I just don’t want to fight anymore.”

I kissed her neck and made her sit up. This required some kind of celebration.

Hell, we celebrated so much the cross above her bed dropped clear off the wall.

People love me because I’m a stand-up guy. I always keep my promises, especially ones to beautiful girls. Yes, I give off the best image, the Incorruptible, sometimes. But no one ever saw this. No one ever got to see the spot of dirt on my white linoleum floor. No one ever knew about that one smirch on my otherwise spotless character. The way she felt inside, that wet, hot burn…the incredibly impure thoughts I had almost every waking minute…the temptation to just stand on a table and scream, “Hey! Guess what? I’m fucking the salesman’s daughter and she’s the best lay on the face of the earth!” I wanted to do that so much, but never did. I kept my dirty little secret, and sin never tasted so sweet.

*

(A huge thank-you to everyone who beta’d this. There were an upwards of three, and they all did an awesome job!)

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